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Talking to your Children about a Divorce or Separation

There are some topics that are hard to discuss with your children. These include but are not limited to drugs, death and dating. While it can be a challenge, you rise to the occasion, because you’d prefer to protect your children, and provide a source of the truth you can both live with. Deep in your heart, you know that these topics will have to be discussed at some point in time. The good thing is that you can be the judge on when you think your child is mature enough to understand such topics, and you cam even prepare yourself in some cases. But no parents expect that their marriage or partnership is going to come to an end. Preparing to have the divorce talk with your kids is not likely to be something you’ve ever considered. When the time comes, the process can be aided with counseling Perth.

What to tell them about separation and divorce

Life doesn’t come with a manual, and there is no single correct way to address mature topics. Depending on the situation and whether there is abuse to take into account, you should also consider your child’s age, how emotionally mature they are, your circumstances, the potential impact on their schooling, and how visible the existing conflict is. These elements will directly affect your approach. You’ll want to be selective on how much you tell your children. You might decide to team up with your soon-to-be ex-partner and explain the situation together, or choose to do it separately. With that said there are some methods that may achieve a better result, and marriage counselling Perth might also help. Some tips include;

  1. Try to state things simply – Your children should know what is happening, how separation and divorce will impact their lives, and what the future might look like. be sure to reassure your children about the future and reiterate the fact that the mirage split is certainly not their fault. They will have questions and some will be hard to answer, but your children have a right to ask, and to express themselves.
  2. Do not blame the former spouse – Even when the situation is volatile and difficult, it is best to not place blame on your ex-partner. You are still responsible for your children’s mental wellbeing, and badmouthing your soon-to-be ex-partner can create damage. Focus on what is in your children’s best interests and consider counselling Perth if needed.
  3. Change is coming but there are some things that stay the same – While Mum or Dad might not live in the same house, it does not necessarily mean that other important things in life will change. The important things are that your children are still very much loved by both parents, and that you are committed to their wellbeing. Your children will still go to the same school, they will still see their grandparents on weekends, and they will still be able to play music and sport, or do the things important to them.
  4. Get support – Whether that is from marriage counselling Perth, to help with the divorce process, or see a therapist, or joining a support community.

Get legal advice

It is also a good idea to have good legal advice in the form of a reputable and experienced lawyer. When you have a professional working on your behalf, and making things go more smoothly, you are less stressed and better able to focus on your children’s best interests.

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