After a recent divorce or child custody battle, things may seem a little bit different for families that usually spend time together, especially during the holidays. There can be a lot of disputes and conflicts that would make co-parenting almost impossible. In that case, finding a good family lawyer to guide you through a parenting agreement can help put a stop to toxic co-parenting.
Some Tips For Co-parenting During The Holidays
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Put Your Kids First
The holiday season is a period to spend time with family and loved ones. It’s also a period to strengthen the bond between parents and children, and a divorce doesn’t have to take away that special moment for your kids. While you and your ex-partner may still have unresolved disputes and negative feelings towards one another, your kids should not be robbed of a good parent-child relationship. Regardless of the reasons for your divorce, the interest of your kids should be prioritized. It is best to put your differences aside and focus on making the holidays memorable for your kids through healthy co-parenting. Cut down on arguments and fights, refrain from clawing at each other in front of the kids, and also encourage the kids to spend more time with the other parent. Although this may be difficult at first, it is not entirely impossible.
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Create a Suitable Holiday Plan
One way to avoid misunderstandings and disagreements when co-parenting is to create a suitable holiday plan that would cover the interests of both co-parents and the kids. Your holiday plan should be free from bias or favoritism and also provide both parents the opportunity to spend equal time with the kids. Some tips that can help you create a suitable holiday include the following-
- Deciding which holidays the kids spend with each parent
- Alternating holidays yearly
- Dividing the holidays evenly between each parent
Having a holiday plan creates a sense of responsibility in both parents while also providing a sense of security and stability for the kids.
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Consider Spending the Holidays Together
Sometimes, co-parents may decide to spend the holidays together for the benefit of their kids. This option may not work for everyone, especially for newly divorced parents or parents who haven’t gotten over their past feelings. But assuming you have a cordial relationship with your ex-spouse, this option can benefit you in many ways.
- It would allow the kids to spend more time with both parents together
- There will be fewer disagreements between co-parents
- There will be less distress for the kids
- It would create an opportunity for the whole family to create more memories together
- It would strengthen the family bond irrespective of the separation
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Plan for GiftsTogether
Some holidays like the Christmas holiday, are a period of festivity and are often marked by giving and receiving gifts. During this season, younger kids look forward to receiving gifts. Co-parents can take advantage of this season to plan toward getting their kids a gift together. While each parent can plan their gifts individually, working together would help to improve their relationship and eliminate competition between them, as there would be no room for one parent to outdo the other. Not only that, but kids also tend to feel happier when they see their parents working together.
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Accept That Things May Never Be The Same Again
This may be difficult to do, especially for parents who recently went through a divorce. However, acknowledging that things are different now and old family traditions or customs may no longer hold the first step towards getting past the difficulties that come with co-parenting. Also, it would create room for better understanding and help co-parents create new traditions that would be beneficial both for them and their kids.
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Keep an Open Mind
A divorce would cause significant changes in your life and that of your kids. Despite the effort you put towards creating a happy environment for everyone, you should also understand that some things may just never be the same. Expect some friction here and there, and keep an open mind toward the changes that may occur. In some cases, your ex-spouse may re-marry, which means your kids would have another family to deal with during the holiday. If things get too overwhelming, you may consider seeing a counselor to discuss what would be best for you and your kids.
Post-divorce holidays can cause stress and anxiety, but with proper planning and effective communication, it can be a period of relaxation and bonding for co-parents and their kids.
